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The Urbane Decay Has Never Kissed A Girl

by The Urbane Decay

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1.
Traffic 02:17
Sometimes after I’ve seen you I think I should just put a blindfold Smoke a final cigarette And walk right into the midday traffic It would be a little bit faster than this It might hurt just a little bit less Yet I'm not even hurting today The sound of your voice on the telephone Feels like a soft, warm red scarf And for the whole eleven seconds of your message I am weightless I am weightless I’ve drifted back down to the floor And the apartment feels empty again Yet somehow packed full of silence So I replay your message seven times And I float to the ceiling seven more times And I float to the ceiling seven more times Sometimes after I’ve seen you I think I should just put a blindfold Smoke a final cigarette And walk right into the midday traffic It would be a little bit faster than this It might hurt just a little bit less I am weightless I am weightless I am weightless I am weightless
2.
I’m giving up on you I’m giving up on you I’ve seen what I gotta do I’m giving up on you I have our house picked out and the names of our kids and the car we’re going to drive it’s never been like this before I forget that we’re not married forget that we’re not dating you’re just a friend I see sometimes just a friend who spends my time so I’m giving up on you I’m giving up on you I’ve seen what I gotta do I’m giving up on you should I even be at this table eating curry and drinking thai beer? as I push crumbs of rice around my plate I can’t follow what you’re saying I’m nodding and counting the ways this situation will mess me up when you start dating someone else when you’re dating someone else so I’m giving up on you I’m giving up on you I’ve seen what I gotta do I’m giving up on you I have this crazy dream we’re lying in our bed the sun has long since risen but we’re not getting up you kiss my cheek and whisper “why did you wait for me?” and I hold you tight and say because because because because… I wasn’t giving up on you I wasn’t giving up on you I saw what I had to do and I wasn’t giving up on you I’m not giving up on you I’m not giving up on you I’ve seen what I gotta do but I’m not giving up on you
3.
never kissed a girl i really, really liked or maybe stopped liking them when i made them cry i took your song's advice and found a girl my own age and she really, really liked me but not quite in that way even whan I ‘m getting laid it’s a lonely, lonely night I never kiss the girls i really, really like stephen's mistress told me this she thought that years ago you and i were dating ‘cause we always stood together at the rock show but facing in different ways like we were bored of one another she was sad for us because we were obviously breaking up but I wasn’t even aware you were were standing there and if I was, you’d only made your mark as some friend of chris clark’s this was long before I saw your band where you drum on that bike singing songs about never finding a girl I really, really like all the girls I knew I knew grew up and moved away and druggies or moms or both are the only ones who stayed I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m coming on to you I’m just feeling old these days and you remind me of my youth this poor old boy found a girl he wants to make his wife but I never kiss the girls i really, really like I never kiss the girls i really, really like
4.
everytime you fall you end up a mess that’s why they call it a crush and not a caress you think you will never love somebody again but libidos run as regular as trains you'll get on that platform you’ll get trampled in the rush that’s why they call it a crush they call it a crush don’t let them know how they make you feel like for once in your life you found something real when you touch their hand don’t let them suspect that it isn't by accident and you’re thinking of sex don’t tell them how you feel keep it cool and keep it real you know why they call it a crush they call it a crush in the cold war the russians didn't believe in crushin' they just took what they wanted and when they died they weren't haunted all those bodies in the graves like withered husks of corn not too long ago were someone’s wet dream someone’s porn and that hottie from your work you think would find you dull will soon be with them in the cemetery dirt with worms crawling in their skull you’re gonna die soon enough really, what’s your rush? you know why they call it a crush they call it a crush don’t tell them how you feel keep it cool and keep it real you know why they call it a crush they call it a crush
5.
boy plus girl equals trouble girl plus boy equals trouble boy plus boy equals trouble girl plus girl equals trouble boy minus girl equals trouble girl minus boy equals trouble boy plus girl plus boy equals trouble girl plus girl plus boy equals trouble when you fall you never know how hard you’re falling you can try to hang on but everbody comes when they hear the calling boy plus girl equals trouble girl plus boy equals trouble boy minus girl equals trouble girl minus boy equals trouble boy plus girl divided by girl plus boy divided by boy times boy minus girl, it's trouble it equals trouble when you touch your heart starts skipping and you blush try to keep it together but we fall apart when we’re feel the crush boy plus girl equals trouble girl plus boy equals trouble boy plus boy equals trouble girl plus girl equals trouble boy plus girl plus boy equals trouble girl plus girl plus boy equals trouble boy plus boy plus girl equals trouble girl plus boy plus girl equals trouble
6.
It's better this way I can love you from afar I can love you from across the street In the comfort of my car And when you turn off your lights I can wish you good night And drive myself home And drive myself home I can drive myself home I can drive myself home I can drive I can drive It's better this way We'll never break up We've never have a screaming fight And have to make up You'll never grow to hate me Because you'll never date me And I'll drive myself home And I'll drive myself home I can drive myself home I can drive myself home I can drive I can drive
7.
I need you to send me an email or I may start crying at my desk is that not the most pathetic thing? apparently something inside me has fallen completely apart and so I need you to send me an email it doesn't have to say anything important it can be two or three words send me a joke, send me a link i know you can't write that you love me or want to touch me or you're thinking of me always or of me holding you like a priceless artifact or daydreaming of being in a coma and me waking you with a kiss I know I’m not in those daydreams those are my daydreams I wish I were in a coma waiting for your kiss I need you to send me an email just tell me you're busy tell me it's raining tell me anything I thought I could wait it out for you to realize you were falling in love but I feel it creeping in like dry rot — that bitter taste I get when I think of you where did the sweetness go? I need you to send me an email or I may start crying at my desk
8.
I went to the 7-eleven hoping you’d be there just by chance now I’m eating icecream alone and I’m calling it romance I’m prepared to wait all summer there really is no rush I don’t want you for a lover I want you for a summer crush all summer crush some how you make me feel I’ve forgotten how to be young when I try to flirt with you the words they die on my tongue I’m prepared to wait all summer there really is no rush I don’t want you for a lover I want you for a summer crush all summer crush back at your place I wanted to lay in the dark, hold hands with you fall asleep in our clothes just feeling safe with someone close I’m prepared to wait all summer there really is no rush I don’t want you for a lover I want you for a summer crush all summer crush
9.
Overdose 01:48
there ain’t no one better there’s no one close if I have to die I hope I overdose on you and your kisses and your touch and your voice I try not to want you but I have no choice there’s a million fish in the sea I could catch one in a net you never know what you lost til you lose something better yet there ain’t no one better there’s no one close if I have to die I hope I overdose I hope I overdose I hope I overdose I hope I overdose on you there ain’t no one better there’s no one close if I have to die I hope I overdose there’s a million fish in the sea I could catch one in a net you never know what you lost til you lose something better yet there’s a million fish in the sea I could catch one in a net you never know what you lost til you lose something better yet I hope I overdose I hope I overdose I hope I overdose
10.
the DJ boys next door have girlfriends who are beautiful and awful with shrill voices that shatter when they fuck and when they fight the year is half over and I keep getting older but the girls I have crushes on will be 21 forever forever…. I learned something about myself I never knew before tonight I have a thing for drag-kings girls with pencil moustaches are so hot what’s the hope for a man who likes underage cross-dressing dykes you might think he’s doomed to watch marlene dietrich movies alone forever forever…. in the bathroom of the gay bar the guy taking a leak beside me said “you’ve got a real 90’s look about you like cobain or rivers cuomo” it’s not that good a story in fact it’s kind of boring but I wish I could tell it to you forever forever….
11.
Elbows 02:25
Elbows touching on the table I suddenly see how it is And it's kind of terrible in a way I didn't know terrible could be It's not like having the rug Pulled out from under my feet There's not floor, no building, there's not So much as a vacant lot But the puzzle has been falling into place I've been pulling the pieces apart Ignoring the voice in my head Trying to calm the fear in my heart I just wish I hadn't mailed That letter this afternoon It's a conversation I really don't want us to have Any time soon Elbows touching on the table I suddenly see how it is And it's kind of terrible in a way I didn't know terrible could be
12.
Do The Fade 02:23
do the fade do the fade don't say goodbye just do the fade don't walk out the door just disipate it's easier that way do the fade don't phone or write or drop by one night with your option weighed just do the fade don’t leave me confused or feeling bruised by explainations made just do the fade you don't owe me a note i know it by rote the debt has been paid do the fade don't say goodbye just drift away just disipate do the fade it's easier this way if we do the fade it's easier this way if we do the fade

about

Self-pitying indie-rock concept album about a doomed crush that borders on stalking (and the album itself is basically the entitled whinging of a 34 year-old manchild).

credits

released July 1, 2007

Jakob Rehlinger: Vocals, instruments.
Jamie Anderson: Vocals.

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about

The Urbane Decay Toronto, Ontario

The Urbane Decay was an indie pop recording project mainly active between 2002-2010, mainly by Jakob Rehlinger, mainly maudlin and mopey.

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