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I Never Kiss The Girls I Really Like

from The Urbane Decay Has Never Kissed A Girl by The Urbane Decay

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about

Jamie, who was in this version of the band, was also in another band called Old Phoebe (they used a bicycle as a percussion instrument). They had a song, I think, called "Poor Old Boy" with some line about a guy who needs to find a girl his own age. Watching them perform the song fairly frequently, and myself three sheets to the wind each time, I really took it to heart—my most recent-ex was nine years my junior. A.M., however, was pretty close to my own age and there's a brief allusion to her at the end. But I think this is really a song where I try to convince myself, and Jamie, I didn't have a crush on Jamie, which I'm now pretty sure I did. Who am I kidding, I was crushing on everybody back then.

Well, that came to an end when, after I staged the release party for this album, in my apartment, and I invited a bunch of ex girlfriends and A.M. (who thankfully didn't show) specifically to sing songs about them in front of an audience, I was branded "undatable." I don't mean that I felt I'd been given the mantle, people literally told me later: "You're pretty much undatable now." Which I obviously was after pulling a dick move like that. So I skipped town shortly after.

lyrics

never kissed a girl
i really, really liked
or maybe stopped liking them
when i made them cry
i took your song's advice
and found a girl my own age
and she really, really liked me
but not quite in that way

even whan I ‘m getting laid
it’s a lonely, lonely night
I never kiss the girls
i really, really like

stephen's mistress told me this
she thought that years ago
you and i were dating
‘cause we always stood together at the rock show
but facing in different ways
like we were bored of one another
she was sad for us because
we were obviously breaking up

but I wasn’t even aware
you were were standing there
and if I was, you’d only made your mark
as some friend of chris clark’s
this was long before I saw your band
where you drum on that bike
singing songs about never finding a girl
I really, really like

all the girls I knew I knew
grew up and moved away
and druggies or moms or both
are the only ones who stayed
I hope it doesn’t sound
like I’m coming on to you
I’m just feeling old these days
and you remind me of my youth

this poor old boy found a girl
he wants to make his wife
but I never kiss the girls
i really, really like
I never kiss the girls
i really, really like

credits

from The Urbane Decay Has Never Kissed A Girl, released July 1, 2007

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The Urbane Decay Toronto, Ontario

The Urbane Decay was an indie pop recording project mainly active between 2002-2010, mainly by Jakob Rehlinger, mainly maudlin and mopey.

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